THEY WERE STANDING UNDER A TREE EACH WITH AN ARM ROUND THE OTHERS NECK AND ALICE KNEW WHICH WAS WHICH IN A MOMENT BECAUSE ONE OF THEM HAD DUM EMBROIDERED ON HIS COLLAR AND THE OTHER DEE I SUPPOSE THEYVE EACH GOT TWEEDLE ROUND AT THE BACK OF THE COLLAR SHE SAID TO HERSELFTHEY STOOD SO STILL THAT SHE QUITE FORGOT THEY WERE ALIVE AND SHE WAS JUST LOOKING ROUND TO SEE IF THE WORD TWEEDLE WAS WRITTEN AT THE BACK OF EACH COLLAR WHEN SHE WAS STARTLED BY A VOICE COMING FROM THE ONE MARKED DUMIF YOU THINK WERE WAXWORKS HE SAID YOU OUGHT TO PAY YOU KNOW WAXWORKS WERENT MADE TO BE LOOKED AT FOR NOTHING NOHOWCONTRARIWISE ADDED THE ONE MARKED DEE IF YOU THINK WERE ALIVE YOU OUGHT TO SPEAKIM SURE IM VERY SORRY WAS ALL ALICE COULD SAY FOR THE WORDS OF THE OLD SONG KEPT RINGING THROUGH HER HEAD LIKE THE TICKING OF A CLOCK AND SHE COULD HARDLY HELP SAYING THEM OUT LOUD TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE AGREED TO HAVE A BATTLE FOR TWEEDLEDUM SAID TWEEDLEDEE HAD SPOILED HIS NICE NEW RATTLE JUST THEN FLEW DOWN A MONSTROUS CROW AS BLACK AS A TARBARREL WHICH FRIGHTENED BOTH THE HEROES SO THEY QUITE FORGOT THEIR QUARREL I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING ABOUT SAID TWEEDLEDUM BUT IT ISNT SO NOHOWCONTRARIWISE CONTINUED TWEEDLEDEE IF IT WAS SO IT MIGHT BE AND IF IT WERE SO IT WOULD BE BUT AS IT ISNT IT AINT THATS LOGICI WAS THINKING ALICE SAID VERY POLITELY WHICH IS THE BEST WAY OUT OF THIS WOOD ITS GETTING SO DARK WOULD YOU TELL ME PLEASEBUT THE LITTLE MEN ONLY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND GRINNEDTHEY LOOKED SO EXACTLY LIKE A COUPLE OF GREAT SCHOOLBOYS THAT ALICE COULDNT HELP POINTING HER FINGER AT TWEEDLEDUM AND SAYING FIRST BOYNOHOW TWEEDLEDUM CRIED OUT BRISKLY AND SHUT HIS MOUTH UP AGAIN WITH A SNAPNEXT BOY SAID ALICE PASSING ON TO TWEEDLEDEE THOUGH SHE FELT QUITE CERTAIN HE WOULD ONLY SHOUT OUT CONTRARIWISE AND SO HE DIDYOUVE BEEN WRONG CRIED TWEEDLEDUM THE FIRST THING IN A VISIT IS TO SAY HOW DYE DO AND SHAKE HANDS AND HERE THE TWO BROTHERS GAVE EACH OTHER A HUG AND THEN THEY HELD OUT THE TWO HANDS THAT WERE FREE TO SHAKE HANDS WITH HERALICE DID NOT LIKE SHAKING HANDS WITH EITHER OF THEM FIRST FOR FEAR OF HURTING THE OTHER ONES FEELINGS SO AS THE BEST WAY OUT OF THE DIFFICULTY SHE TOOK HOLD OF BOTH HANDS AT ONCE THE NEXT MOMENT THEY WERE DANCING FOUND IN A RING THIS SEEMED QUITE NATURAL SHE REMEMBERED AFTERWARDS AND SHE WAS NOT EVEN SURPRISED TO HEAR MUSIC PLAYING IT SEEMED TO COME FROM THE TREE UNDER WHICH THEY WERE DANCING AND IT WAS DONE AS WELL AS SHE COULD MAKE IT OUT BY THE BRANCHES RUBBING ONE ACROSS THE OTHER LIKE FIDDLES AND FIDDLESTICKSBUT IT CERTAINLY WAS FUNNY ALICE SAID AFTERWARDS WHEN SHE WAS TELLING HER SISTER THE HISTORY OF ALL THIS TO FIND MYSELF SINGING HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH I DONT KNOW WHEN I BEGAN IT BUT SOMEHOW I FELT AS IF ID BEEN SINGING IT A LONG LONG TIMETHE OTHER TWO DANCERS WERE FAT AND VERY SOON OUT OF BREATH FOUR TIMES ROUND IS ENOUGH FOR ONE DANCE TWEEDLEDUM PANTED OUT AND THEY LEFT OFF DANCING AS SUDDENLY AS THEY HAD BEGUN THE MUSIC STOPPED AT THE SAME MOMENTTHEN THEY LET GO OF ALICES HANDS AND STOOD LOOKING AT HER FOR A MINUTE THERE WAS A RATHER AWKWARD PAUSE AS ALICE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BEGIN A CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE SHE HAD JUST BEEN DANCING WITH IT WOULD NEVER DO TO SAY HOW DYE DO NOW SHE SAID TO HERSELF WE SEEM TO HAVE GOT BEYOND THAT SOMEHOWI HOPE YOURE NOT MUCH TIRED SHE SAID AT LASTNOHOW AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ASKING SAID TWEEDLEDUMSO MUCH OBLIGED ADDED TWEEDLEDEE YOU LIKE POETRYYEES PRETTY WELL SOME POETRY ALICE SAID DOUBTFULLY WOULD YOU TELL ME WHICH ROAD LEADS OUT OF THE WOODWHAT SHALL I REPEAT TO HER SAID TWEEDLEDEE LOOKING ROUND AT TWEEDLEDUM WITH GREAT SOLEMN EYES AND NOT NOTICING ALICES QUESTIONTHE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER IS THE LONGEST TWEEDLEDUM REPLIED GIVING HIS BROTHER AN AFFECTIONATE HUGTWEEDLEDEE BEGAN INSTANTLYTHE SUN WAS SHINING HERE ALICE VENTURED TO INTERRUPT HIM IF ITS VERY LONG SHE SAID AS POLITELY AS SHE COULD WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME FIRST WHICH ROAD TWEEDLEDEE SMILED GENTLY AND BEGAN AGAIN THE SUN WAS SHINING ON THE SEA SHINING WITH ALL HIS MIGHT HE DID HIS VERY BEST TO MAKE THE BILLOWS SMOOTH AND BRIGHT AND THIS WAS ODD BECAUSE IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THE MOON WAS SHINING SULKILY BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THE SUN HAD GOT NO BUSINESS TO BE THERE AFTER THE DAY WAS DONE ITS VERY RUDE OF HIM SHE SAID TO COME AND SPOIL THE FUN THE SEA WAS WET AS WET COULD BE THE SANDS WERE DRY AS DRY YOU COULD NOT SEE A CLOUD BECAUSE NO CLOUD WAS IN THE SKY NO BIRDS WERE FLYING OVER HEAD THERE WERE NO BIRDS TO FLY THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER WERE WALKING CLOSE AT HAND THEY WEPT LIKE ANYTHING TO SEE SUCH QUANTITIES OF SAND IF THIS WERE ONLY CLEARED AWAY THEY SAID IT WOULD BE GRAND IF SEVEN MAIDS WITH SEVEN MOPS SWEPT IT FOR HALF A YEAR DO YOU SUPPOSE THE WALRUS SAID THAT THEY COULD GET IT CLEAR I DOUBT IT SAID THE CARPENTER AND SHED A BITTER TEAR O OYSTERS COME AND WALK WITH US THE WALRUS DID BESEECH A PLEASANT WALK A PLEASANT TALK ALONG THE BRINY BEACH WE CANNOT DO WITH MORE THAN FOUR TO GIVE A HAND TO EACH THE ELDEST OYSTER LOOKED AT HIM BUT NEVER A WORD HE SAID THE ELDEST OYSTER WINKED HIS EYE AND SHOOK HIS HEAVY HEAD MEANING TO SAY HE DID NOT CHOOSE TO LEAVE THE OYSTERBED BUT FOUR YOUNG OYSTERS HURRIED UP ALL EAGER FOR THE TREAT THEIR COATS WERE BRUSHED THEIR FACES WASHED THEIR SHOES WERE CLEAN AND NEAT AND THIS WAS ODD BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY HADNT ANY FEET FOUR OTHER OYSTERS FOLLOWED THEM AND YET ANOTHER FOUR AND THICK AND FAST THEY CAME AT LAST AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE ALL HOPPING THROUGH THE FROTHY WAVES AND SCRAMBLING TO THE SHORE THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER WALKED ON A MILE OR SO AND THEN THEY RESTED ON A ROCK CONVENIENTLY LOW AND ALL THE LITTLE OYSTERS STOOD AND WAITED IN A ROW THE TIME HAS COME THE WALRUS SAID TO TALK OF MANY THINGS OF SHOES AND SHIPS AND SEALINGWAX OF CABBAGES AND KINGS AND WHY THE SEA IS BOILING HOT AND WHETHER PIGS HAVE WINGS BUT WAIT A BIT THE OYSTERS CRIED BEFORE WE HAVE OUR CHAT FOR SOME OF US ARE OUT OF BREATH AND ALL OF US ARE FAT NO HURRY SAID THE CARPENTER THEY THANKED HIM MUCH FOR THAT A LOAF OF BREAD THE WALRUS SAID IS WHAT WE CHIEFLY NEED PEPPER AND VINEGAR BESIDES ARE VERY GOOD INDEED NOW IF YOURE READY OYSTERS DEAR WE CAN BEGIN TO FEED BUT NOT ON US THE OYSTERS CRIED TURNING A LITTLE BLUE AFTER SUCH KINDNESS THAT WOULD BE A DISMAL THING TO DO THE NIGHT IS FINE THE WALRUS SAID DO YOU ADMIRE THE VIEW IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO COME AND YOU ARE VERY NICE THE CARPENTER SAID NOTHING BUT CUT US ANOTHER SLICE I WISH YOU WERE NOT QUITE SO DEAF IVE HAD TO ASK YOU TWICE IT SEEMS A SHAME THE WALRUS SAID TO PLAY THEM SUCH A TRICK AFTER WEVE BROUGHT THEM OUT SO FAR AND MADE THEM TROT SO QUICK THE CARPENTER SAID NOTHING BUT THE BUTTERS SPREAD TOO THICK I WEEP FOR YOU THE WALRUS SAID I DEEPLY SYMPATHIZE WITH SOBS AND TEARS HE SORTED OUT THOSE OF THE LARGEST SIZE HOLDING HIS POCKET HANDKERCHIEF BEFORE HIS STREAMING EYES O OYSTERS SAID THE CARPENTER YOUVE HAD A PLEASANT RUN SHALL WE BE TROTTING HOME AGAIN BUT ANSWER CAME THERE NONE AND THAT WAS SCARCELY ODD BECAUSE THEYD EATEN EVERY ONEI LIKE THE WALRUS BEST SAID ALICE BECAUSE YOU SEE HE WAS A LITTLE SORRY FOR THE POOR OYSTERSHE ATE MORE THAN THE CARPENTER THOUGH SAID TWEEDLEDEE YOU SEE HE HELD HIS HANDKERCHIEF IN FRONT SO THAT THE CARPENTER COULDNT COUNT HOW MANY HE TOOK CONTRARIWISETHAT WAS MEAN ALICE SAID INDIGNANTLY THEN I LIKE THE CARPENTER BEST IF HE DIDNT EAT SO MANY AS THE WALRUSBUT HE ATE AS MANY AS HE COULD GET SAID TWEEDLEDUMTHIS WAS A PUZZLER AFTER A PAUSE ALICE BEGAN WELL THEY WERE BOTH VERY UNPLEASANT CHARACTERS HERE SHE CHECKED HERSELF IN SOME ALARM AT HEARING SOMETHING THAT SOUNDED TO HER LIKE THE PUFFING OF A LARGE STEAMENGINE IN THE WOOD NEAR THEM THOUGHT SHE FEARED IT WAS MORE LIKELY TO BE A WILD BEAST ARE THERE ANY LIONS OR TIGERS ABOUT HERE SHE ASKED TIMIDLYITS ONLY THE RED KING SNORING SAID TWEEDLEDEECOME AND LOOK AT HIM THE BROTHERS CRIED AND THEY EACH TOOK ONE OF ALICES HANDS AND LED HER UP TO WHERE THE KING WAS SLEEPINGISNT HE A LOVELY SIGHT SAID TWEEDLEDUMALICE COULDNT SAY HONESTLY THAT HE WAS HE HAD A TALL RED NIGHTCAP ON WITH A TASSEL AND HE WAS LYING CRUMPLED UP INTO A SORT OF UNTIDY HEAP AND SNORING LOUD FIT TO SNORE HIS HEAD OFF AS TWEEDLEDUM REMARKEDIM AFRAID HELL CATCH COLD WITH LYING ON THE DAMP GRASS SAID ALICE WHO WAS A VERY THOUGHTFUL LITTLE GIRLHES DREAMING NOW SAID TWEEDLEDEE AND WHAT DO YOU THINK HES DREAMING ABOUTALICE SAID NOBODY CAN GUESS THATWHY ABOUT YOU TWEEDLEDEE EXCLAIMED CLAPPING HIS HANDS TRIUMPHANTLY AND IF HE LEFT OFF DREAMING ABOUT YOU WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE YOUD BEWHERE I AM NOW OF COURSE SAID ALICENOT YOU TWEEDLEDEE RETORTED CONTEMPTUOUSLY YOUD BE NOWHERE WHY YOURE ONLY A SORT OF THING IN HIS DREAMIF THAT THERE KING WAS TO WAKE ADDED TWEEDLEDUM YOUD GO OUT BANG JUST LIKE A CANDLEI SHOULDNT ALICE EXCLAIMED INDIGNANTLY BESIDES IF IM ONLY A SORT OF THING IN HIS DREAM WHAT ARE YOU I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOWDITTO SAID TWEEDLEDUMDITTO DITTO CRIED TWEEDLEDEEHE SHOUTED THIS SO LOUD THAT ALICE COULDNT HELP SAYING HUSHYOULL BE WAKING HIM IM AFRAID IF YOU MAKE SO MUCH NOISEWELL IT NO USE YOUR TALKING ABOUT WAKING HIM SAID TWEEDLEDUM WHEN YOURE ONLY ONE OF THE THINGS IN HIS DREAM YOU KNOW VERY WELL YOURE NOT REALI AM REAL SAID ALICE AND BEGAN TO CRYYOU WONT MAKE YOURSELF A BIT REALLER BY CRYING TWEEDLEDEE REMARKED THERES NOTHING TO CRY ABOUTIF I WASNT REAL ALICE SAID HALFLAUGHING THOUGH HER TEARS IT ALL SEEMED SO RIDICULOUS I SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO CRYI HOPE YOU DONT SUPPOSE THOSE ARE REAL TEARS TWEEDLEDUM INTERRUPTED IN A TONE OF GREAT CONTEMPTI KNOW THEYRE TALKING NONSENSE ALICE THOUGHT TO HERSELF AND ITS FOOLISH TO CRY ABOUT IT SO SHE BRUSHED AWAY HER TEARS AND WENT ON AS CHEERFULLY AS SHE COULD AT ANY RATE ID BETTER BE GETTING OUT OF THE WOOD FOR REALLY ITS COMING ON VERY DARK DO YOU THINK ITS GOING TO RAINTWEEDLEDUM SPREAD A LARGE UMBRELLA OVER HIMSELF AND HIS BROTHER AND LOOKED UP INTO IT NO I DONT THINK IT IS HE SAID AT LEAST NOT UNDER HERE NOHOWBUT IT MAY RAIN OUTSIDEIT MAY IF IT CHOOSES SAID TWEEDLEDEE WEVE NO OBJECTION CONTRARIWISESELFISH THINGS THOUGHT ALICE AND SHE WAS JUST GOING TO SAY GOODNIGHT AND LEAVE THEM WHEN TWEEDLEDUM SPRANG OUT FROM UNDER THE UMBRELLA AND SEIZED HER BY THE WRISTDO YOU SEE THAT HE SAID IN A VOICE CHOKING WITH PASSION AND HIS EYES GREW LARGE AND YELLOW ALL IN A MOMENT AS HE POINTED WITH A TREMBLING FINGER AT A SMALL WHITE THING LYING UNDER THE TREEITS ONLY A RATTLE ALICE SAID AFTER A CAREFUL EXAMINATION OF THE LITTLE WHITE THING NOT A RATTLE SNAKE YOU KNOW SHE ADDED HASTILY THINKING THAT HE WAS FRIGHTENED ONLY AN OLD RATTLE QUITE OLD AND BROKENI KNEW IT WAS CRIED TWEEDLEDUM BEGINNING TO STAMP ABOUT WILDLY AND TEAR HIS HAIR ITS SPOILT OF COURSE HERE HE LOOKED AT TWEEDLEDEE WHO IMMEDIATELY SAT DOWN ON THE GROUND AND TRIED TO HIDE HIMSELF UNDER THE UMBRELLAALICE LAID HER HAND UPON HIS ARM AND SAID IN A SOOTHING TONE YOU NEEDNT BE SO ANGRY ABOUT AN OLD RATTLEBUT IT ISNT OLD TWEEDLEDUM CRIED IN A GREATER FURY THAN EVER ITS NEW I TELL YOU I BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY MY NICE NEW RATTLE AND HIS VOICE ROSE TO A PERFECT SCREAMALL THIS TIME TWEEDLEDEE WAS TRYING HIS BEST TO FOLD UP THE UMBRELLA WITH HIMSELF IN IT WHICH WAS SUCH AN EXTRAORDINARY THING TO DO THAT IT QUITE TOOK OFF ALICES ATTENTION FROM THE ANGRY BROTHER BUT HE COULDNT QUITE SUCCEED AND IT ENDED IN HIS ROLLING OVER BUNDLED UP IN THE UMBRELLA WITH ONLY HIS HEAD OUT AND THERE HE LAY OPENING AND SHUTTING HIS MOUTH AND HIS LARGE EYES LOOKING MORE LIKE A FISH THAN ANYTHING ELSE ALICE THOUGHTOF COURSE YOU AGREE TO HAVE A BATTLE TWEEDLEDUM SAID IN A CALMER TONEI SUPPOSE SO THE OTHER SULKILY REPLIED AS HE CRAWLED OUT OF THE UMBRELLA ONLY SHE MUST HELP US TO DRESS UP YOU KNOWSO THE TWO BROTHERS WENT OFF HANDINHAND INTO THE WOOD AND RETURNED IN A MINUTE WITH THEIR ARMS FULL OF THINGS SUCH AS BOLSTERS BLANKETS HEARTHRUGS TABLECLOTHS DISHCOVERS AND COALSCUTTLES I HOPE YOURE A GOOD HAND A PINNING AND TYING STRINGS TWEEDLEDUM REMARKED EVERY ONE OF THESE THINGS HAS GOT TO GO ON SOMEHOW OR OTHERALICE SAID AFTERWARDS SHE HAD NEVER SEEN SUCH A FUSS MADE ABOUT ANYTHING IN ALL HER LIFE THE WAY THOSE TWO BUSTLED ABOUT AND THE QUANTITY OF THINGS THEY PUT ON AND THE TROUBLE THEY GAVE HER IN TYING STRINGS AND FASTENING BUTTONS REALLY THEYLL BE MORE LIKE BUNDLES OF OLD CLOTHES THAT ANYTHING ELSE BY THE TIME THEYRE READY SHE SAID TO HERSELF AS HE ARRANGED A BOLSTER ROUND THE NECK OF TWEEDLEDEE TO KEEP HIS HEAD FROM BEING CUT OFF AS HE SAIDYOU KNOW HE ADDED VERY GRAVELY ITS ONE OF THE MOST SERIOUS THINGS THAT CAN POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO ONE IN A BATTLE TO GET ONES HEAD CUT OFFALICE LAUGHED LOUD BUT SHE MANAGED TO TURN IT INTO A COUGH FOR FEAR OF HURTING HIS FEELINGSDO I LOOK VERY PALE SAID TWEEDLEDUM COMING UP TO HAVE HIS HELMET TIED ON HE CALLED IT A HELMET THOUGH IT CERTAINLY LOOKED MUCH MORE LIKE A SAUCEPANWELL YES A LITTLE ALICE REPLIED GENTLYIM VERY BRAVE GENERALLY HE WENT ON IN A LOW VOICE ONLY TODAY I HAPPEN TO HAVE A HEADACHEAND IVE GOT A TOOTHACHE SAID TWEEDLEDEE WHO HAD OVERHEARD THE REMARK IM FAR WORSE OFF THAN YOUTHEN YOUD BETTER NOT FIGHT TODAY SAID ALICE THINKING IT A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE PEACEWE MUST HAVE A BIT OF A FIGHT BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT GOING ON LONG SAID TWEEDLEDUM WHATS THE TIME NOWTWEEDLEDEE LOOKED AT HIS WATCH AND SAID HALFPAST FOURLETS FIGHT TILL SIX AND THEN HAVE DINNER SAID TWEEDLEDUMVERY WELL THE OTHER SAID RATHER SADLY AND SHE CAN WATCH US ONLY YOUD BETTER NOT COME VERY CLOSE HE ADDED I GENERALLY HIT EVERYTHING I CAN SEE WHEN I GET REALLY EXCITEDAND I HIT EVERYTHING WITHIN REACH CRIED TWEEDLEDUM WHETHER I CAN SEE IT OR NOTALICE LAUGHED YOU MUST HIT THE TREES PRETTY OFTEN I SHOULD THINK SHE SAIDTWEEDLEDUM LOOKED ROUND HIM WITH A SATISFIED SMILE I DONT SUPPOSE HE SAID THERELL BE A TREE LEFT STANDING FOR EVER SO FAR ROUND BY THE TIME WEVE FINISHEDAND ALL ABOUT A RATTLE SAID ALICE STILL HOPING TO MAKE THEM A LITTLE ASHAMED OF FIGHTING FOR SUCH A TRIFLEI SHOULDNT HAVE MINDED IT SO MUCH SAID TWEEDLEDUM IF IT HADNT BEEN A NEW ONEI WISH THE MONSTROUS CROW WOULD COME THOUGH ALICETHERES ONLY ONE SWORD YOU KNOW TWEEDLEDUM SAID TO HIS BROTHER BUT YOU CAN HAVE THE UMBRELLA ITS QUITE AS SHARP ONLY WE MUST BEGIN QUICK ITS GETTING AS DARK AS IT CANAND DARKER SAID TWEEDLEDEEIT WAS GETTING DARK SO SUDDENLY THAT ALICE THOUGHT THERE MUST BE A THUNDERSTORM COMING ON WHAT A THICK BLACK CLOUD THAT IS SHE SAID AND HOW FAST IT COMES WHY I DO BELIEVE ITS GOT WINGSITS THE CROW TWEEDLEDUM CRIED OUT IN A SHRILL VOICE OF ALARM AND THE TWO BROTHERS TOOK TO THEIR HEELS AND WERE OUT OF SIGHT IN A MOMENTALICE RAN A LITTLE WAY INTO THE WOOD AND STOPPED UNDER A LARGE TREE IT CAN NEVER GET AT ME HERE SHE THOUGHT ITS FAR TOO LARGE TO SQUEEZE ITSELF IN AMONG THE TREES BUT I WISH IT WOULDNT FLAP ITS WINGS SO IT MAKE QUITE A HURRICANE IN THE WOOD HERES SOMEBODYS SHAWL BEING BLOWN AWAY